I recently had the pleasure of being a guest on Dr. T’s podcast – Creating Connection. As a personal and professional development coach, and facilitator, my journey from perfectionism to empowerment contributed to an insightful conversation about challenges with authenticity and compassion.
Unmasking Perfectionism
I used to wear perfectionism like a mask, believing it would help hide my insecurities and gain approval from others. However, while perfectionism may seem like a shield, it actually creates disconnection—both from others and more importantly from our authentic selves. The “mask” of perfectionism is a form of self-protection, but it prevents us from truly connecting with others because it’s based on a lie. When we constantly strive for perfection, we hide our vulnerabilities, which are essential to our personal growth and meaningful relationships.
The Power of Positive Intelligence
My journey as a recovering perfectionist led to the work I do now. Positive Intelligence is all about mental fitness—developing the ability to overcome negative thought patterns and replace them with more positive, authentic ways of being. Positive Intelligence helps others overcome their inner saboteurs and align with their essence which we call our Sage.
A crucial part of Positive Intelligence is understanding our “saboteurs”—the inner critics and negative voices that hold us back. The master saboteur is known as the “Judge,” who constantly critiques ourselves, others, and situations.
Through “PQ reps” (Positive Quotient reps), we learn to interrupt these negative patterns. These are simple, sensory-based exercises designed to help us reconnect with our core, interrupting the negative thought patterns that often hold us back.
The Real-Time Benefits of PQ Reps
PQ reps are very powerful: they’re practical, real-time tools you can use to manage your emotions and stay present. Whether it’s a stressful situation at work, a personal conflict, or a moment of self-doubt, PQ reps give you the tools to manage your mental and emotional state in the moment.
Healing Through Vulnerability
Embracing our imperfections and allowing ourselves to be seen, creates deeper connections with ourselves and others.
Self-compassion is essential in the process. It’s important to recognize when we’re being too hard on ourselves and instead meet ourselves with kindness and understanding. Whether it’s through practicing PQ reps or simply acknowledging our emotions, self-compassion allows us to move through challenges without staying stuck in judgment or shame.
The Shared Humanity of Our Struggles
One of the core themes of creating connection is the recognition that we are all in this together. Our individual struggles—whether related to perfectionism, self-doubt, or negative thought patterns—are part of the universal human experience. By acknowledging and embracing these struggles, we can connect with others on a deeper level. We don’t have to do this work alone.
We all have the capacity for growth and transformation, no matter where we start. Frameworks and tools like Positive Intelligence and PQ reps, support us in moving beyond our inner saboteurs and connecting with our authentic selves.
These tools and frameworks provide a roadmap for those seeking to move beyond perfectionism and other self-limiting beliefs. Whether you’re looking to enhance your career, improve your relationships, or simply become more connected to your true self, the first step is always awareness. By embracing vulnerability, practicing self-compassion, and using tools like PQ reps, we can interrupt the negative patterns that hold us back and start living in alignment with our deeper wisdom.
Connect With Us
Creating Connection with Dr. T is all about exploring the complexities of life with compassion and curiosity. Subscribe to our podcast to hear more stories of transformation and growth.
This is a post based on an episode of Creating Connection. Find the full episode here.
Image by kp yamu Jayanath from Pixabay