Most high achievers don’t struggle with capability.
They struggle with an invisible pattern running quietly in the background.
In my work with leaders, executives, and high-performing professionals, I consistently see this truth: success does not eliminate internal interference. In fact, the more capable someone is, the more sophisticated their inner critic can become.
In the Positive Intelligence® framework, these patterns are called Saboteurs — automatic mental habits formed early in life that influence how we respond to pressure, performance expectations, relationships, and uncertainty. They are not character flaws. They are survival strategies. At some point, they helped us succeed, belong, or feel safe.
But over time, they begin to limit us.
Meet My Saboteur: The Stickler
One of my strongest Saboteurs is the Stickler.
On the surface, the Stickler looks like a strength:
- High standards
- Discipline
- Attention to detail
- Strong work ethic
- Commitment to excellence
But beneath that strength lives something more subtle: perfectionism.
Many organizations reward these traits. Many leaders build their careers on them. In fact, when I used to interview for roles and I received the standard question “please share a weakness,” I always responded with “I am a perfectionist” as I knew this would be appealing to many organizations.
The Stickler doesn’t scream. It whispers.
Not yet.
It’s not quite ready.
You could do better.
If it’s not excellent, don’t put it out there.
It raises the bar just high enough to keep you striving — but never fully arriving.
Unchecked, this pattern creates chronic stress, quiet self-doubt, decision fatigue, and an inability to fully celebrate success. It also quietly restricts creativity, vulnerability, and authentic leadership.
The Cost of Perfectionism
For me, the cost was deeply personal.
My Stickler Saboteur kept me from honoring one of my core values: creative expression.
I stopped singing for more than 20 years.
Every time I attended a concert or performance, I felt a wave of emotion rise up unexpectedly. I would imagine myself on that stage and feel grief — grief for a dream I believed I had buried.
I was the Regional Human Resources Manager for EMI Music Distribution (10 record labels at that time), and nobody had a clue that I sang. I told myself practical stories about why I had stopped. I rationalized it. I minimized it.
But the deeper truth was this: perfectionism had convinced me that if I couldn’t do it at the highest level, I shouldn’t do it at all.
And here’s what I now understand:
It wasn’t about singing.
It was about voice.
When we suppress creative expression in one area, we often mute ourselves in others — in leadership conversations, in relationships, in visibility, in innovation, in bold decision-making.
Perfectionism doesn’t just limit hobbies. It limits presence. It sucks the joy out life.
How Saboteurs Show Up in Leadership
In organizations, the Stickler can look like:
- Micromanagement disguised as “high standards”
- Difficulty delegating
- Overworking to maintain control
- Fear of visibility unless everything feels flawless
- Reluctance to take creative risks
- Quiet burnout masked by competence
Other Saboteurs show up differently — the Pleaser who avoids difficult conversations, the Hyper-Achiever who ties self-worth to output, the Controller who struggles with uncertainty.
But the impact is the same: stress increases, resilience decreases, relationships deteriorate, and innovation narrows.
And here’s the critical point — most leaders are unaware that these patterns are running the show.
Awareness Changes Everything
One of the turning points for me came when I could identify and name my Stickler.
Awareness is powerful.
When we can see our Saboteurs clearly:
- We stop confusing them with our identity.
- We interrupt automatic reactions.
- We access the calmer, wiser part of our brain.
- We respond instead of react.
Neuroscience supports this shift. When we activate curiosity and self-awareness, we move from survival mode (fight, flight, freeze, fawn) into regions of the brain associated with creativity, empathy, and strategic thinking.
This is not about eliminating high standards.
It’s about leading from intention instead of fear.
It’s about choosing excellence without self-judgment.
It’s about reclaiming our voice.
Why This Work Matters in Organizations
Sustainable growth does not come from pushing harder.
It comes from understanding what’s quietly pushing us and holding us back.
This is why I integrate the Positive Intelligence framework into my work with individuals and organizations. I utilize this approach through:
- One-on-one executive coaching
- Team development engagements
- An impactful 8-week virtual group coaching program designed to create measurable mindset and behavioral shifts
In organizations, this work strengthens:
- Emotional regulation under pressure
- Psychological safety
- Constructive conflict
- Resilience and well-being
- Engagement and retention
- Authentic leadership presence
When leaders understand their Saboteurs, they reduce stress contagion. They model self-awareness. They make cleaner decisions. They build cultures rooted in accountability and compassion rather than fear and overdrive.
And the ripple effect is significant.
A Simple First Step
There is a brief Saboteur Assessment that takes about five minutes to complete. It offers remarkably accurate insight into your dominant mental patterns.
For many of my clients, this is the moment something clicks.
They see themselves clearly — often with both relief and surprise.
If you’re curious about what might be shaping your own reactions, leadership style, or stress patterns, I’m happy to share the assessment with you.
And if you choose to take it, I’d welcome a thoughtful conversation about what you discover. These insights deepen when explored — not in judgment, but in curiosity.
Because leadership doesn’t begin with strategy.
It begins with awareness.
And sometimes, reclaiming your voice starts with understanding what’s been quietly silencing it.
Warmly,
Rachel
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